 04-11-2008, 12:41 PM
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PatsyG
Joined on 04-11-2008
Posts 1
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So glad I have found this (lengthy post sorry)
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Ive only just started to read some of the things in here and already i feel as though there is finally someone who understands.
Ok heres my story. I have split up from my partner in january this year. I had not been happy on and off for a long time and when on top of things I met someone else I decided to call it a day. Was soo hard to do as Ive been with him for 10 years, since i was 15 and he used to be my world.
So I started a new relationship with this other person, of course that didnt work out and just made my husband more furious. He now hates my guts and I get a lot of anger and hate from him.
My husband is in the army and away on tour at the moment, i can keep the army house for another few months but need to make a decision in regards of where i want to move with the kids. Im german and we live in Germany but their dad is English and the kids go to an English army school. They dont speak much German, I know itd benefit them but somehow I struggle teaching them. Now I dont know what to do, where I should go, stay in Germany or move to the UK. Financially there probably isnt that much difference but it would be easier for me to get a job in the UK i think, if im being naive please tell me!! There arent many part-time jobs where i live at all, especially not in the morning. I think the kids would be happier staying in the british school system. My husband would prefer if we lived in the Uk and he would move there too with the army. My kids are 7 and 6, a boy and a girl. They have suffered quite a bit in this and we are both to blame and im so sorry for it now, just read not to tell them they might move house but prepare them when it actually happens, Ive already made the mistake of discussing a move with them even though we are going nowhere yet. I seem to be doing a lot wrong and sometimes find it hard to put myself in their shoes even though i do try and i do love them to bits. My little boys behaviour is tricky aswell, always has been but the situation probably made things worse.
I feel like all I do is whinge to people but this is such a struggle and feel so lost and Im sorry for going on, its a bad habit I dveloped, slowly turning into this bitter grumpy old woman! I feel like i try so hard, try and keep it all together and still keep on top of the house and keep the kids happy but theyve already told me their dad is much more fun, im not a very fun mum :( Im always too busy and getting angry and upset and I dont like goign out with them on my own. However when things are put on by the army we go along, we go the library, scouts and do some stuff at home, maybe i put myself under too much pressure sometimes.
I dont even work and theyre at school all day and Im still finding it hard, i feel like such a failure at times.
I still have strong feelings towards my husband too, despite all the bad stuff that has been going on, I really should have tried to work things out rather than throwing it away so quick, I did try for years in my own way but we should have seeked professional help, I dont seem to know what i think or feel, im worried I just miss him because Im lonely. Since we live in an army house everyone around me has a partner, my best mate is now having a baby with her boyfriend and its so depressing, I try and be happy for her but really I envy her, I wish I didnt.
My family are not much support and most my mates are sick of me moaning I think and dont really know what to say anymore as its always the same old thing.
Any advise would be fantastic, especially on the financial situation aswell, what peoples experiences are because i really havent go a clue how anything works, can you work when youre on benefits, how is the job market for single mums in the uk and so on. Thank you so much and sorry for going on, this has been going on for nearly 10 months and Im worn down and out by the situation Im in. Thanks for listening.
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