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Re: cafcass making it all worse Started by meeagi79 at 19-10-2008 2:21 AM. Topic has 1 replies. Single Mum Surv... » Single Mum Surv... » Help & Advice » Re: cafcass making it all worse

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19-10-2008, 2:21 AM meeagi79 Joined on 19-10-2008 Posts 2 cafcass making it all worse ok, im despeate here, yes its 01:56 sunday morning and i am having yet more sleepless nights since last xmas when my partner dumped me and our two young daughters for his new girlfriend, after 5 months of no contact from him i got a message to him informing him that we were moving away, he then slapped a prohibited steps order on me and sought a court order for access. even though i had begged him to see the children during the early part of our seperation, which he refused! to cut a long story short, cafcass are now involved and are steadily making the whole situation worse! with lies and bias opinions on the fathers side, cafcass are on a witch hunt to discredit me. everyone seems determined to massage my ex's ego and pat him on the back as some victim, and have overlooked the whole fact that he dumped his kids without any support or explanation! i have agreed to alternate weekend contact,fri-sunday, alternate xmas, new year, block periods in the school holiday, and yet my ex hasnt taken any of this up, because it meant he had to drive 100 miles once a fortnight??? WTF!? has anyone else got any advice as to how i deal with this, i am doing my best and it appears that cafcass are just ffj in disguise, determined to smear me! i happen to have recorded my meeting with the cafcass guardian, and so when it comes down to it i have proof of his lies, but no one at cafcass is interested!    Report

27-10-2008, 8:45 AM Jay Joined on 20-09-2005 Posts 107 Re: cafcass making it all worse Keep a detailed diary of all contact with your ex, all times he is suppost to show and the childrens reactions and as the cafcass officer is worrying you all of meeting with him. With the cafcass officer, make notes during the meeting and at the end show him what you think he's said to you (in note form). Also show him to diary, express your concerns very clearly to him and write down what you have statwed to him. Tell him of the destress that access not being taken up is having on your children. Ask him to speak to your ex about how your children need your ex and that if he doesn't want the access been given what can he do, so that the children aren't upset by him not coming when expected. Your ex has probably given this guy a big sob story, so he can play games with your head and your kids. It's a very cruel thing but sadly some men are like that. You have to stay focused don't get drawn into a personal to do over it, this is about your kids and only your kids!! Try not to be emotional try to deal in facts. If you the kids are showing emotional stress from this talk to the health visitor about or the school, if cafcas is not giving you the support you need get it from other professional bodies. I hope this helps, but do keep the diary of this, include any professional bodies you speak to school, doctor, health visitor, cafcass etc, all contact with ex (how, when where, as well as content). Big hug    Report

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