 08-04-2008, 1:44 PM
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Jay
Joined on 20-09-2005
Posts 107
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http://entitledto.co.uk/
Ok, this link willl show you your benifit entitlement.
Also look at this http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/protect/benefits-check
Have a look at the healthy start piece about vouchers for fruit and vege for pregnant women and children under 4 years.
I think you will get child tax allowance without a job but not the working tax credit, this will tell you. And if you have a job by then to return to you will get both.
I know this may seem hard to believe but I think you will be surprised how well off you will be financially.
But as one who went through pregnancy without a partner, I would have to say if your mums willing to let you stay at home until the babies 6 months do it, it will be far better for you and the little one to have support with you. You are going to be very tired for the first few weeks, and there will be so much to take in, having soem one there to help, is great if you can get it.
I can also understand what your dad's trying to do but he has never been through child birth and doesn't understand how much learnt to be a mum for the very first time takes. Your body does take 6 months to recover, it takes about that long to get your emotions under control.
As for your partner, right now "I'm pregnant" are just words, the first time he may attach to the baby is at the first scan, but thats along time to wait (as thats normally the 12 week point). If he loves you, he will want this baby. But has he talked to you about what he's feeling.
As for your partners parents, if you feel they need to know, its up to you. You may find they are the support you need and may help but they also may see you as a problem for there son. It all depends what kind of people they are.
Here's the thing, if I could wave a magic wand and tell you, financially you will be ok but your partner will not be there. Would you have this baby?
Life has a magic way of working itself out, especially where kids are involved, you need to stop worrying about other people, what they want and think, and start asking yourself, do you want to be a mum? do you want this baby? take all the other factors out of the equations for the time being and just work on finding out what you really want, then you can work on making it happen.
You are only 6 weeks gone, you have time to think.
I can tell you as a single mum from the day I found out I was pregnant til now (4 years on), it has been hard at times but the benifits far out weighted the negatives. But I new I wanted my baby, and I fought to keep him, even when my ex physically tried to make me loose him as I wouldn't abort. But this was right for me, I made my choice and stood by it.
Lets look at it this way, if you abort, it will probably have no effect on your ex, but what effect would it have on your relationship. Would you blame him for putting you through that again, or will you feel like you were pushed into it? Men are strange, what I'm trying to say is even if you don't have your baby, you may not get to keep your relationship.
Please try not to define or plan your life around this one person your love so dearly, men are funny things and always what they want, not what you expect.
My best advise to you, is if you can go away for a few days stay with a mate or something, clear your head. And just ask ourself what you want.
I really hope some of this is helping, but at the end of the day, its just my view point.
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