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to divorce or not to divorce?
Started by jersey girl at 13-08-2007 9:58 PM. Topic has 1 replies.

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  13-08-2007, 9:58 PM
jersey girl is not online. Last active: 8/13/2007 9:48:12 PM jersey girl

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Joined on 17-07-2007
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to divorce or not to divorce?
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Hi, my husband of four years left me six months ago just before our little boy was born. He said he was leaving because he wasn't sure about us anymore and had feelings for a friend of ours. He's now with her and i feel so low. I've been told i can divorce him on the grounds of adultery but i just don't know what to do anymore. He says it wouldn't be right to divorce him on those grounds because nothing happenned til after we'd seperated - and although i know nothing physical happenned i know that mentally they were together when i was five months pregnant. i don't know if divorcing him will help me move on or if it will just make things worse. Some days i feel ok but then i see him and i fall apart. I just miss  him so much - he was my best friend and i just dont know where to turn anymore. Add to that the fact that my gorgeous little boy is still waking up three or four times in the night and its leaving me a jiberring wreck.

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  14-08-2007, 1:19 PM
Jay is not online. Last active: 7/12/2007 9:10:50 AM Jay

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Joined on 20-09-2005
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Re: to divorce or not to divorce?
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Oh sweetheart, I feel for you.

This is the worst time to have to face this, as your emotions are bound to be all over the place.

I think the best think you can do is find out everything you can, I am aware that some solicistors do free clinics once a week, it may be worth turning up to one and finding out everything you can.

You need to know if you divorse what happens to your home if its joint owned, what sort of settlement you could expect and the maintenance but you need to know what you may loses. If you divorce comes questions of access, possibly even nights away from your little one, how would you feel about this. Its a lot to take in. The solicitor may also be able to advise on if you don't divorse, what rights he automatically maintains (a horrible thought but you don't want to come home one day to find your home for sale, or hes moved back in and kicked your stuff out).

Until you know the facts you cant decide this, and as hard as it may seem try not to make this an emotional decision, I know you want to move on with your life but you also need to be able to provide for your son.

Sadly I'm not the best person to advise you as I've never been so fortunate as to marry, so I can only give you what I think I would be doing in your position.

But before you actually do anything, you need to accept he's gone and even if you had him back things could never be the same, you probably would struggle to trust him again.

It sounds like your about to find out your stronger than you think, believe in yourself you will make the right choice for you and your son.

Take care, big hug

Jay
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