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No contact with father -explaining to my daughter Started by Hels at 18-04-2006 12:10 PM. Topic has 1 replies. Single Mum Surv... » Single Mum Surv... » Career & Childc... » No contact with father -explaining to my daughter

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18-04-2006, 12:10 PM Hels Joined on 18-04-2006 Posts 1 No contact with father -explaining to my daughter Hi I have just joined this forum. I became a single parent 3 years ago when my daughter was 10 months old and she is now almost 4. My relationship ended when my partner of 7 years became violent. He stated at the time that if I left him he would never see our daughter.  Obviously my feelings towards him are not good to put it mildly and I only have very negative memories of him. My daughter has begun to ask questions about him and why she doesn't see him and I have caught her looking longingly at fathers playing with their children when we are at the park. I need some advice on how to tackle her questions and explain why her father doesn't want to see her without her feeling it is her fault or that she is unlovable. I want to try and tell her that her dad did love her but is a selfish ignorant person who shirks his responsibility as a father. Please help    Report

24-07-2006, 1:17 AM ladybaby21 Joined on 24-07-2006 Posts 3 Re: No contact with father -explaining to my daughter I'm facing that dilemna in a few years - single mum of 3 year old who has never known her dad - he only saw her briefly when she was 6 months old. I've had the added delight of him trying to get contact through the court last year. I started a diary when she was born to put down my thoughts on motehrhood and also explain to her why her dad isnt around. When she's old enough she can read it. i hope it will make her realise what a painstaking decision I had to make and how much she means to me. Recently, I had a dry run of the situation when my friend's 6 year old asked about this. I think you have to be honest and simple in your answers. I said that she had a dad but didn't see him. That he had wanted to see her but I had said no because he wasnt a very kind person and said and did things which made me sad and unhappy. That he shouted at me and used bad words and I was worried that he would do the same to my daughter which was why we didnt see him. I explained that all dads arent like her dad kind and caring. And finally that he loved her but just didnt see her. She seemed to accept this. Although I'm not convinced my own kid will.Also, I think it will be something that will also be on the horizon. My own view is that although it is really difficult not having a dad, having a dad that abuses you or youre mum is much much worse.    Report

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